I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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