Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
