I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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