you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
