Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
