I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it's not cheating when I paid for it
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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