Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
