I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
