But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
