apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
