Swine flu is the new snow day.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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