omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
