And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
