? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
