I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
pop tarts are not kleenex
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
