If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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