I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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