If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
