I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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