Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
