8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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