If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
