Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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