I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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