please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
