how can u be prego again
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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