So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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