you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The power of my boobs compel you
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
