Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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