I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
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