I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't deserve a penis
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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