you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
