this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
