So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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