I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
