Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
