They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
