It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
