I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
