The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
