so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i believe in u and ur pee
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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