His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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