her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I love you. Go after that dick
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