Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
