Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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