His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
