so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Randomize
