hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
