Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
