why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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