I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
